Gollum

The embodiment of Deus ex Machina, or God out of the Machine for those of you know who don't know Latin (not that I know much anymore) And if you're unfamiliar with the concept there's nothing I love more than explaining things like this. It's refers to the thing, usually something magical or made of advanced technology depending on the setting, in most stories that makes it so the good guys can win. But deus ex machina sounds a whole lot fancier and is less to say. If you've read Harry Potter, and I know you have, it's in every book, and in the last one there's like eight. Anytime you're reading a book and you think to yourself, "Boy, it sure was convenient they found the x that is the only thing that can defeat x." or "It's a good thing x came along just as x was about to x." And most of the time this happens within the last few chapters. Same goes for movies.

But in the Lord of the Rings the Deus ex Machina gets a face, a whole back story, and is in all of the books/movies. (As you might of guessed I'm watching it right now, The Two Towers to be exact) Try to imagine for a moment what would have happened if Frodo and Sam had tried to make it to Mordor on their own. There wouldn't even be a third book/movie. But let's back up. So Gollum used to be Smeagol, found the one ring, killed his cousin or brother or whatever, becomes a twisted insane creature, yadda yadda yadda, Bilbo steals the ring and then the first book/movie is more or less set up. First, how is Gollum still alive by the time Frodo gets the ring? I know the Ring gives you a supernatural lifespan, but Gollum was a river hobbit (I know that isn't the technical term) so I assume he has a similar lifespan to regular land hobbits. When Bilbo gives Frodo the Ring he's already well over one hundred, but dances around like he's in his mid fifties. At the end of the series when Frodo sees Bilbo again, he appears to be on the verge of death and relatively little time has gone by (I know it was more in the book, but shut up) But Gollum went a very very long time without having the Ring after Bilbo stole it  and yet he moves around like a god damn spider monkey and I'm pretty sure Gollum was already breaking 200 at the time.

But okay, maybe river hobbits are especially virile when they've been cursed with evil. So what else do we know about the little dude? Well as we find out in the first one he was captured and taken to Mordor where he suffered excruciatingly painful torture at the hands of Sauron's forces until he tells them where the ring is. I honestly don't even see why they would have to torture him. Why wouldn't he just immediately tell them who stole the ring? It's not like he owes anything to Bilbo, the guy who stole his most precious treasure. But maybe they just wanted to torture the shit out of him anyway, that's what evil guys do. You know what else evil guys do? Kill people, especially after they torture them because that is the ultimate dick move. Why would Sauron, who is literally the embodiment of malevolence, just decide to say "fuck it" this one time and tell his cronies to let him go? You can't tell me the guy, or creature, who wants to murder and/or enslave every race in Middle Earth has some code of honor that says he can't torture AND kill someone. If Sauraon had just had his orcs kill Gollum right then and there, boom, evil triumphs. But of course this is deus ex machina we're talking about. Everything had to be just so, otherwise how could we get to the part Gollum stupidly attacks Frodo at the edge of a barely stable bridge made of stone hovering precariously over what can only be described as a shit ton of molten lava? Again, not that Frodo would have even made it that far without Gollum to show them that there was a much better way to get into Mordor than walking right in the fucking front door (seriously, how could that have possibly worked?)

But if it hadn't been for Gollum, all of those heroic acts performed by every single character other than Frodo and Sam (seriously, what series has a more useless protagonist?) would have been for nothing. The forces of Mordor would have still rallied and killed the shit out of Gondor considering they had a seemingly infinite army at their disposal.

So who is really responsible for the destruction of the Ring and with it Sauron and the forces of Mordor? Sauron himself, that's who.